Thursday, February 2, 2012

Forget this Crap...I am riding the wave!!

Forget this crap...I am riding the wave! I just ran in the most beautiful scenery, Jack doesn't have a brain tumor, Zach got a 96 on his chemistry test, Jillian does not have cancer, and Tyler just designed the most amazing miniature golf course for Geometry! BRING IT!

As I was out running I was thinking that I have been living in survival mode too long. How can I succeed in life when I just keep getting washed out by the next wave!! I live from wave to wave just trying to keep my head above water! I decided that I am going to just get up and ride the wave! The bigger the better! Bring it on! I was thinking about my kids and how resilient they are. Here they have just been put in a new school, hard classes, no friends and they are making the very most of it. They are rocking their school work. Trying to tackle each day and complain very little. Jack may not have eaten food for the last 2 weeks but he does not have a brain tumor! Jillian does not have cancer! Tyler is so fun and brilliant! And Zach is just an amazing person...I am really proud of all of them~! Zach just came home from splits last night with the missionaries and though he was stressed about going because he had a lot of homework he was so excited to go on his mission! He had a great experience! I am really proud of him. I think he will be a great missionary.

In order for me to be the best self I can be I need to get up and RIDE! I create my destiny! I create what I will be! I control what I eat! I control if I exercise! I control how I respond to people and circumstances! I control if I am going to stress out or not. I am an anxiety ridden person. If there is something to worry and stress about I will do it. I don't need to do that. If I put my faith and trust in the Lord than I don't have to do that. I can just do what he has asked me to do and then have faith in his plan. No matter how hard it may get...I can get through it. And I just got an e-mail saying they will upgrade my dishwasher! Yea! I mean really...why not be happy, right? And I didn't hit 2 cars today that I almost hit! Jackson ate 10 mini teddy grahams! And he is so funny! He just makes me smile and how he lights up around his brothers and sister!!!!

I was reading last night a talk from Richard G. Scott from the Oct. 2011 conference. It is about Scriptures! I love his talk. I have been studying it the last few nights. Anyway...last night I read him quoting Alma 7: 23. "I would that ye should be Humble and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever thing ye do receive." I realized that first, I need to be more humble and submissive and then, that I need to be more patient and long suffering and diligent in keeping the commandments of God. The scriptures give me the source of where to look, How I can better myself each day, How I can receive peace and a pep talk every day. I had a conversation with my sister on Sunday about "Investing" in the Lord. We invest in so many other things in our life..but we need to put as much effort, if not more in investing in the Lord, in his teachings and what he has asked us to do. My sister responded and said...that she tried that and it doesn't work. (She has recanted since) But is got me thinking that night as I was reading a conference talk or scriptures or the Ensign, that though "investing" in him does not take away our trials or make it a lot easier, it does bring me peace. It gives me a source to look and helps me understand the why's and prioritize the important things. You know, Satan's biggest weapon is to distract us. With anything and everything. If he can just get us pre-occupied with "something else" than we won't be doing what we should. Whether it is a job, hobbies, tv, internet, computer games, money, worldy possessions, or trying to acquire worldly possessions, Facebook, etc. I have become victim time and time again. It is a constant battle for me to not lose focus. How is it that we have time to spend 1 hour on the computer, 1/2 hour playing video games, an hour on the phone., etc. but we only have 5-10 minutes at most at the end of the day to "invest" in the Lord's word? or work? I believe that reading the scriptures every day, or conference talks and pondering on them and trying to put it into practice is our best hope of not letting Satan deter us.

Anyway, just some thoughts. Today I will be a little more cheerful. Today I will be a little more thankful. Today I will think of how I can be like Christ a little more. And tomorrow...well, we will just see what tomorrow brings.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012


I don't feel like I look like on the outside who I truly am. I feel like I am a vibrant, energetic, thin, athletic woman who has the potential to be pretty. What I feel like I look like is a haggard woman who is very fluffy and is just fine. I feel like look wise I am not reaching my potential of health and beauty. I feel like my husband isn't either. That I feel makes it even harder for me to reach my potential. I want to be on the outside who I feel like I am on the inside. Now, just trying to figure out how to make the two match up. I know it has a lot to do with Self Discipline. How did I get some?

This is the start

So I decided to start a journal/blog of my daily journey. I just got back from a walk/run where I had this great idea to have a place who journal. Erik is in Australia for two weeks and we just moved here to Austin, Texas about 4 weeks ago. We are living in a rental home while our home is being completed. Jackson, 22 months, was in the hospital last week for RSV. He has been extremely irritable and whiny because he doesn't feel well and he has not been sleeping through the night. So in turn I am finding myself feeling very worn out and exhausted emotionally and physically. He has not eaten food for almost 2 weeks now. That is stressful to me. I think he would be happier if he would just eat but he won't, even forced. I feel like I need to get in to a doctor but don't know who to see.

Jillian is home sick today so I decided to go for a walk/run to get some sort of peace of mind. I listened to Relient K and loved it. They have the best lyrics. They make me smile. Hopefully I will be able to deal with Jackson better having exercised now.

I had some great insight come to me while exercising but now it has slipped my mind. I will be back to put it down.